She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
