oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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