a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
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I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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