As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
