You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
