You smell like stripper and shame
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
