I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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