i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
