My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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