so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think i got beer on your cat.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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