so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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