the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
