My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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