If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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