Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
