Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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