you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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