Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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