a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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