Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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