Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
