I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
