He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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