He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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