Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize