he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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