the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
