My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Sorry my hands just texted you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
