found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
