I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
