But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
