No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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