god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
