Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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