I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
