Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
