who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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