I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
where are you?
Hypothermia
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
