No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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