i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
