I think my vagina is haunted
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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