question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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