...so i touched it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
