he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I touched a dick in church today
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
