this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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