The maid of honor just puked.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
