people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
