Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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