Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
