the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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