If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
