Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
