this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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