whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
