It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
