tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
