i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
