Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
