Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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