Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
