you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
