the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
