Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
