There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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