he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
