Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
