Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
