my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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