YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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